I can't do this anymore. I'm getting bad and fast. Worse everyday. I don't believe in medication or therapy to fix your problems, but I'm getting so bad I'm desperate. 

I've been mind fucked so bad I don't know how I can ever be normal around anyone anymore. I can't open up to anyone anymore. I can't trust anyone anymore. Because of my past experiences, I no longer can hold a normal relationship

I feel smothered. Suffocating. 

I'm fucking up so bad. I hardly go to class and don't do my assignments. I party a lot and drink everytime, not caring. 

I don't know what I want either. I don't know if I like him or if I'm just forcing it. I'm super scared though. Joey fucked me up so bad I don't know if I can hold a stable relationship without freaking out all the time. I can't trust guys anymore. 

I want to take pills to numb it all, and I have the pills to do it, just not sure if I want to take them right now.

I just want the pain to go away. I stopped taking my birth control because I thought that was the reason I was so down all the time but I just feel worse.

I need help before I do serious damage. 

I feel so broken and can't be fixed. I'm fucked up and can't go back to the way I was. 

Hopeless. 

Lost. 

I'm not me anymore. And I can't come back.